You know you have something special when your friends give you a nickname that references all the times you’ve gotten kicked out of bars. 

My name is EJ and I love scoring hole and pounding brew (like a man).  My two favorite pastimes have inspired me to put pen to paper and share my hilariously terrible stories with the world because not all heroes wear capes.  And not all heroes wear rubbers as you’ll soon find out. Most people would think that growing up in a broken home in West Miami would automatically pave the way for great life choices.  In reality, it was the underage drinking and abundance of horny Latina girls that was my recipe for success.

Fast forward 10 years and here I am living in San Diego.  I decided to put on my big boy pants and get myself a real career in hotel management.  No more partying with strange women on weekend trips to Tijuana, no more running from the police, no more reckless decisions that lead to a bloody nose and missing wallet and no more unprotected sex with questionably young girls.  It’s time to grow up and be responsible.

Ok, but first I’LL DO ONE!